When I was a child, I longed to have my dog sleep on my bed. But the rules were firm.
No dogs allowed upstairs.
Now I am grown up, I share my bed with a man.
And I have four dogs.
So bed sharing would be very crowded!
But in the intervening years, attitudes towards bed-sharing with dogs have changed.
Not everyone is admitting it, but a lot of people spend the night with their dogs.
What about dominance?
At one time, it was thought that allowing dogs to sleep on beds, or other premium sleeping spots, such as your favourite chair, would cause problems with dominance.
We now know that in most cases this isn’t true.
Few Labradors are interested in dominating their families.
So provided your dog is not prone to resource guarding (see below), letting him sleep on the bed will not put him in charge of the household.
Company and bonding
Sleeping with a Labrador is a deeply bonding experience.
And as humans and dogs are both highly social, it is also reassuring and comforting for both.
This can be especially important for people that live alone and may feel lonely at night.
Potential problems
Sleeping with a dog can sometimes cause problems with sleep disturbance.
Large dogs and very restless dogs may interrupt their co-sleeper’s slumber at intervals throughout the night.
Many people who bed-share with pets do report disturbed sleep and we now know that interrupted sleep can cause health problems.
People with allergies to hair are probably better off keeping pets out of the bedroom, though to be honest, Labradors shed or moult so much that unless you have a team of elves keeping your bedroom clean, there will probably be dog hair in it anyway.
Resource guarding
Some dogs find it hard to share, they like to keep all the comfy, and tasty things to themselves.
These dogs may growl and try to defend nice sleeping places.
It is very important that you don’t bed-share with a dog that tries to guard the bed from you. Or that won’t let anyone else but you, climb on it.
If your dog behaves in this way, tempt him off the bed with some tasty treats and keep him firmly shut out of your bedroom.
If he is resource guarding other sleeping places too, ask your vet to refer you to a behaviourist to help sort the problem out.
Children
In broad terms, small children should not sleep with large dogs. This is just common sense.
Children are very poor at communicating with dogs and often do not recognise warning signs that a dog is distressed or unwell, or has begun resource guarding.
Almost every year, in the UK children are killed by dogs. And in many cases, the owner was convinced that the dog would never harm a member of their family.
It is not worth the risk, and interaction between small children and dogs should always be supervised.
Changing your mind
When you decide to sleep with your dog, you need to consider how you will cope if you change your mind.
Supposing you are unwell and need to have your bed to yourself for a while.
Will your pet be happy to snooze on the floor, or outside your door for a few nights.
Or will it be a real problem to separate him from you?
Some dogs would be quite distressed to lose their regular sleeping place, so you do need to decide whether or not you are happy to make this a long term commitment.
Young puppies
Small puppies need their own beds.
This is because you cannot supervise a puppy once you are asleep, and housetraining accidents are highly likely to occur and to delay the whole process of getting the dog clean indoors.
Puppies also need to learn to be alone sometimes, and they need to learn this in the first few months of life.
Otherwise they will have problems coping with being alone later on.
Rescue dog
If you have adopted a rescue dog that has no aggression problems, he may benefit greatly from the close companionship of bed sharing.
You need to be aware of the possible downsides though.
He may for example find it difficult to cope if you later wish to terminate the bed-sharing arrangement.
Or may soil the room whilst you are asleep. (See housetraining an older dog)
The reluctant dog
Not all dogs will want to share a bed with their owners. Some won’t like climbing on to a raised surface.
Others prefer to sleep alone, in their basket.
Don’t try and force your dog to share your bed if he doesn’t want to.
If you want company, you can try placing his basket next to your bed. He may decide to join you above at some point in the future.
Conclusion
If your dog is already resource guarding or aggressive bed-sharing is a bad idea. But if your dog does not have these issues, and you want to share your bed, this is unlikely to cause problems.
Bed sharing with a dog can be a great comfort to people that are lonely and may help to deepen the bond between the dog and his carer.
If I slept alone, I might very well consider letting my dogs upstairs.
A certain amount of hair and dust may be a small price to pay for companionship during the hours of darkness.
More information on Labradors
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How about you? Does your dog share the bed? Let us know what you think in the comments box below.
The Labrador Site Founder
Pippa Mattinson is the best selling author of The Happy Puppy Handbook, the Labrador Handbook, Choosing The Perfect Puppy, and Total Recall.
She is also the founder of the Gundog Trust and the Dogsnet Online Training ProgramÂ
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We are just looking at letting our Labrador in the bedroom at night bringing her crate in to start with.m husband has ms doesn’t work so she is very rarely in her own although has always slept I her crate on the landing she does now wake up and cries after a couple of hours in her crate. No one else wakes up nor hears her but don’t want anyone else nor the neigjbours woken. When we go downstairs she curls up and goes back to sleep so must have issues with been on her own
I love reading all of these articles. We have a new addition to our family, Maarten, who is a 5-month old black lab and has been with us since he weighed just 10 lbs., 8 oz at 9 weeks. As SOON as I was comfortable enough and learned his potty ‘schedule’, Maarten was brought into our bed. Our 14-year old, three-legged, chocolate lab slept with us for years, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Maarten now is an extremely healthy, happy, beautiful 60 pound addition to our family, and he has his own pillow between us and sleeps right with us. When I get up in the night, he conveniently moves to my spot, but the second I walk back in, I point to his pillow, and he groans sweetly and moves to his pillow. Cuddling with him is the BEST stress-relieving therapy I could ever have. However, he has a good balance. He goes into his own ‘bed’ (crate) when we are not home, and is quite happy in there for 2-4 hours at a time. He also has the luxury of ONE couch in our living areas and he is happy there as well. He gets his alone time and enjoys it, but he is happiest right on his pillow.
My Labrador don’t sleep with my husband and I in bed but when my husband gets up at 3am and leaves for work I then end up waking up to my did in bed. I didn’t know she got into bed. She does this after my husband is off to work. Does she do this thinking she is protecting me?
Thankyou so much for all the lovely stories about everyone’s labradors, especially the two from Kwan Ming, they had me crying. We don’t actually have our own Labrador, but look after our daughters five days a week while they are at work. Although he might as well be ours! We love Him to bits and really miss him at the weekends. He is 8 years old and is blind, so we have to give him extra love and care, he doesn’t go out much as he is so afraid of the outdoors and noises, so we don’t get to take him on nice walks like other owners, it we wouldn’t be without him for anything.
Our 10 month old Fox Red English Lab sleeps in her crate by our bed as she has from day one with us. But she cuddles at night and in the morning on the bed. She is too big to sleep with both my husband and me but when he is out of town; she’s all over his side of the bed and I love it!!
My chocolate girl Bessie usually sleeps on my bed, unless it’s very hot, my older dog, Meg the 9 year old Collie likes to come up if it’s cold or very windy, but she has to be expressly invited otherwise she lies on the landing outside the bedroom and grumbles until I get up and coax her in!I used to hate my ex-husband’s snoring, I find Bessie’s snoring comforting.
My beautiful 84 lb intact male (will never be bred), came from a high kill shelter. Dumped by his breeder because people in that area dont buy or adopt black labs. He is a pure bred Lab. I had him sleep with me because he was so scared. He is 2 1/2 yrs and still sleeps with me. Its a comfort to wake up to a beautiful black head on my shoulder. He knows I am in charge and never questioned it. Sometimes he chooses to sleep on the floor and most nights he curls up on his side of the bed. It amazes me how careful he is to never wake me up.
I just got a yellow Dudley lab (Dudley lab = light pigmentation trait… pinkish nose and beautiful green eyes). She is 8+ weeks old and she loves to sleep right next to me on my bed until I take her off because my bed is high and I’m terribly scared of her falling off. Should I keep her up here and get baby rails until she can hop on and off with ease or should I put her on the floor for the time being?
Our 6 month old black Lab Patrick sleeps on the bed from half way through each night. We’ve tried shutting the crate but he whines till he gets out. We accept that we have allowed this to happen and may have to allow it to continue till he is just physically too big and heavy. It can at times be pleasant having him beside you but frequently his canine breath or farty arse can be a real struggle to endure. Also at times he tries to get under the duvet an spoon up to us licking which is tooo much!!!
Hi Pete, I hope you will find this article on crate training helpful: https://www.thelabradorsite.com/crate-training-your-labrador-puppy/ Best wishes, Lucy
OUR BLACK LAB “J” WILL NOT GET ON BED OR FURNITURE.I HAVE TRIED AND HE REFUSES.HE IS SO OBIDEANT. HE IS 12. HAS SOME HEALTH ISSUES.LIPOMAS SOME PLUM SIZE.VET DOES NOT RECOMMEND REMOVAL.
HE ALSO HAS TRACHEAL COLLAPSE.HAVE HIM ON ORIENTAL HERBAL TX; AND HAS IMPROVED SOME.
ANY HELPFUL COMMENTS FOR CARE. ELEANOR
Hi Eleanor, If your Lab doesn’t want to get on the bed then there is no reason to make him. He probably finds it uncomfortable climbing or jumping. There are various ways you can adapt your home to make an old dog more comfortable. Please follow your veterinarians recommendations regarding your dog’s health, or if you are unhappy with her diagnosis seek a second opinion from another qualified and licensed vet who uses approved, tested products.
I use to have a Labrador retreiever called freeway which lived with the family I shared my lodgings with in Harrogate from 2001-2005.
I remember one night being woken by Alex my landlord who was a postman by trade he noticed my door was ajar and the dog was laying on top of my bed with a smile on her face whilst I was fast asleap I had my arms wrapped around her and I obviously knew I had a friend for life.
Freeway was my soulmate and true lover although only in the relationship sence of the matter, she was 7 yrs old when I first met her in early 2001, & almost 14yrs when she sadly passed away, I have had no problem with her sleeping on my bed as she got very lonely at nighttime and she wanted me to know how much she loved me.
I know what your saying though in terms of rules/boundaries as dogs need some degree of discipline, but having seid that I will never over critisize a dog owner or dog for that matter for sleeping together as it cements the relationship between dog and master.
Dogs are the best creatures that have ever walked on the face of earth and they still hold lessons about life we should lern from them as they are so loyal and loving and never far from my heart and for this I am very greatfull that freeway bless her dearly departed soul had the honour of showing me how to become a better man than I ever thought possible before I knew her.
True love?
I have 2 labs and they’re my world. They will have the best,most comfortable life, so when they are sadly no longer with me, I can be pleased in the knowledge they had the best life. They don’t sleep with us all night buy they sure have a big bed sleep and cuddle first thing in the morning. It’s not because of any other reason than space on the bed and dog hair!!! I have always owned labs and they are the best dogs ever.
This story is a dedication to Freeway my beloved soulmate and paw pall who sadly passed away aged 14 in 2005.
Freeway was a beautiful female golden Labrador retreiver with a soul that matched.
I didn’t have dogs when I was a child due to allergies and my pearents reluctance to own one.
Anyway on to the story Tuesday June 15th 2001, their I was looking for suitable lodgings having moved to Harrogate in North Yorkshire (UK). My social worker with me at all times when we she drove me to a bungalow/house and I. Was introduced to the family who lived there and asked to come in so I did putting my coat on a hanger before entering the living room via the kitchen area from the utility room/front door.
I sat down on a comfy settee and was offered a cup of tea for which I seid thank you to my kind hosts for, next came the question what do you think of this place and do you want to stay the night, before I could awnser I was created with their dog who put her paws on my chest and licked me in the face. I awnsered yes after taking my time to think about the question, My hosts than seid I see you’re met freeway I smiled back and they seid I see you like dogs I replied I love dogs, paperwork filled out my new existence with my soulmate began, we would be inseparable freinds for 5 wonderfull years.
And that’s how I met my true love/soulmate she was 7 when I first met her and 14 when she sadly passed away on October 15th 2005, she was my gargian angel of a dog and she saved my life more times than I could count emotionally and physically speaking.
She was the reason I have learned so much from dogs and about the importance of true love in life, one night I remember being aroused by Alec as he opened my door and seid James James wake up so I did in sort of a haze and when I awoke I noticed freeway looking at me licking my face and smiling at me from atop of my bed covers she obviously had claimed up during the night and snuggled up to me.
And when I questioned her she looked at me to say you called me, in my hazy mind I just couldn’t remember calling her but obviously I had as she was there as she always was our bond even stronger than anytime before, I must have been dreaming of her and calling out for her because when I awoke my dream had turned into a very real and palpable furry reality.
From that day forward I knew I had a B.F.F (Best Furry Friend) for life and I knew when she had choosen me it was the right decision because she absolutely adored me right until the last days of her life.
I even got praise from Alec & Jeannette as they seid they had never seen her so happy as when she was with me, and that was very true as she was my soulmate, lover & friend I ever that I ever had and we spent many good times together until the sad day when she left this earthly existence and crossed the rainbow bridge.
moving on to that night in question Saturday October 15th 2005, I lay on my bed fast asleap at my pearents house in the lakes district where I live nowadays, I drempt freeway came up to me and looked me in the eyes and seid don’t be sad we will meet again she was so close I could smell her perfume and feel her soft golden coat of fur, immediately I grasped the meaning of it all it meant she was dead tears welling up in my eyes the next day I couldn’t stop weaping over her loss I felt empty & broken.
When the phone rang I knew who it was and they sounded as sad as I was crying could quite clearly be heard over the line I spoke with Jeanette and she informed me they had had to put freeway down at the vets, I told her I already knew about it as freeway had visited me in a vision the night before and I explained she had seid her final good bie to me, Earlier in the week I had been back to visit her but couldn’t bear to see her in so much pain she had looked at me to say why do I have to leave you?, I had awnsered her with a simple promise I told her I would see her again in heaven once my time had come.
Its sadly now almost 11 years since she died and I would like to think she’s still watching over me and waiting patiently for us to meet again in the next life once we are re-united in heaven.
And since that day I believe I have a angel looking down at me from the heavens in the form of freeway my golden girl.
My dogs both share my bed. Trucker (my lab mix) and I traveled a lot, and slept outside a lot, tied to each other, or in the same sleeping bag. He carries his own weight, is very well behaved and grateful, makes no inference that he owns the bed at all. He gets depressed without love, regardless of this, and needs walking and petting every day, so sleeping the bed gives him emotional security, and he usually just moves over if needed, though we often cuddle.
After years with him, it would be hard to snub Aurora (aussie shepherd/border collie mix) in that way, so she does too- but she does guard resources, so whenever she starts acting like she owns the bed, she sleeps on the floor for a night or two, and this restores order at least until her next heat cycle.
I love having them in my bed and I think its integral to forming a family. It solidifies familial connections no matter their form, and will help build loyalty and the perspective that we are all in the same boat together, protecting each other and sharing as friends.
I think it shows respect. Some dogs have plenty of self-respect, but some dogs need that confidence boost and emotional/psychological security. If you have a lab, I’d recommend it!
Hi we have 4 months Lab, He came to my house at 25 days because his mom died in a accident, so we adopted him, we are following vet suggestions. feeding 3 times a day. Then we don’t have separate house for him, full day he play, sleep in our house, we have small garden for his play, in night time we left him outside for safety purpose. We have compound walls and shed, so he is safe. but when we close the door he start crying, full night he will cry, everyday this was happening, we don’t get sleep everyday. He sleep few hours then again he start crying in the early morning. we keep him inside for 2 months then 3 rd month on wards we left him outside but just 1 months he is crying. After his long cry some times we allow him to house but in middle of the night he bite the face, lick and pass the urine on us. In day time He likes to sleep in bath room and kitchen. We open the bath room in night times but he thinks bath room is his bed room, so he don’t pass urine in their he pass in our bed room. the only solution is we keep him to out side in night time, but he don’t like. I don’t know how to handle him pls help me
My 10 yr old Lab sleeps in bed with me. This only started about 2 yrs ago when her sister suddenly died. After that both of us had issues being separate at night. She does twitch a lot, but a little disturbance is worth it. When it’s just me, she sleeps up there all night. When my husband is home, she tends to get hot and jump down and get in her bed on the floor by me. She is a huge bed hog, but I deal with it.
I let my chocolate lab Milo sleep with me. I have never had a problem with him moving or getting off the bed when I want private or alone time. Most nights he goes out to the couch at some point.
I am 62 and this is my first dog a Yellow Female Lab I got at 7.5 weeks. She is now 10 months and follows me everywhere. For 39 years my wife has had dogs and I never could understand the attraction of a pet. Well I won’t go into what caused me to get a dog. I can say I fully understand the attraction and she slept in a crate until six months old and I put her on the bed with us and she sleeps cuddled up to me and my wife’s Toy Fox Terrior up to her. My dog will wake me up between 7:30 and 8:00 by using her paw tapping gently on my shoulder until I get up and let her outside then I feed her. I love my lab and wouldn’t have it any other way.
My 2yr old yellow lab starts off in his own bed across the room and waits for me to ask him up on my bed. He’ll then settle curled in my legs all night and then gets cuddles in the morning. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Our lab cross domino loves our bed he sleeps with us at leaset 5 nights a week.he loves it wen my husband leaves it for work dommys strait on his pillor.x
I have a 10 month old black lab and he sleeps on me every night but has never woke me up. he sleeps on me whether im on the couch, bed, floor even if im just going to play with him he jumps right on me and falls asleep. he never growls or bites or does anything wrong hes potty trained, doesn’t chew on stuff or nothing he’s the perfect dog i say good boy monty your only 9 months old but are perfect.
If it’s a particularly warm day our Lab sleeps in the darkest coldest part of our bedroom. If it’s a cool day or it’s raining hard, she sleeps on our bed. Our Lab is a heavy sleeper as well as a snuggler, so it’s a plus during cold weather.
After reading the comments above, I think that I’m definitely in the minority. My lab is not allowed on the bed at any time. This has been the “rule” since she was a puppy. She sleeps in her crate. We do keep the crate in our bedroom, so she is close by.
Yes, my seven year old female lab sleeps with me. She will even stare in my eyes at 10:30 if I am up to say,”hey it’s bedtime.” She is not a restless sleeper, just wants to be near me! Labs are the best dogs on the planet. Smart, loyal, sweet and she truly is my best friend in life.
My first lab slept with me his entire life until he got bone cancer and preferred the floor. My black lab after that slept with me on the bed until his knee surgery and the Vet told him not to climb up. After fencing off the bed he never wants to sleep on the bed again. Now if have my old Black Lab and 2 new black puppies and a girlfriend. I like the idea of them sleeping with us however I don’t want to upset my old one and he is at his last days. Any advise. 2nd comment left on site.
Big-D
hello ma’am,
these days i m often follow your site….. it actually helps a lot. i have a Labrador. till he was 5 months old he slept on my bed….. but now he has a cage where he sleeps at night…. though mostly throughout the day is live inside one of the rooms…… i don’t like him in cage……but i m helpless mummy does not like him on my bed as she has to clean the room……. like your’s here too “RULES ARE FIRM.” thank u ma’am for helping each time by letting me have an article
When we first got Milo who’s now 9months old I let him sleep on bed with me as I felt so sorry for him , he use to wake me up twice in the night so I would take him down downstairs put him in garden and let him do what he had to do then take him back to bed he slept like a baby now his learnt to get on and off my bed by himself he prefers to lye in the hallway between bedrooms and wakes my husband up and five o’clock in the morning with very loud yawns so he can go out for his morning walk we have been very lucky so far as his still a puppy x
After having a german shepherd for 13 years who was NEVER allowed on the sofa or on the bed( he had dominance issues ) jake arrived as a two month old adorable out going chocolate Labrador ….. As mr Cesar Milan would say a very balanced dog …. No issues what so ever so now at 3 years old he’s allowed on the bed for cuddles before going to sleep then I ask him to go down and off he goes and sleeps at the end of the bed on the carpet or under the bed …. Depending on the wheather as we live in Italy … It’s such a pleasure to have such an easy going , playful , social animal to live with ……. He s just wonderful !!!!!
Interesting topic! I believe that sleeping together with any dog will help in making a healthy bond between the dog and the owner. However, I do not want to share my bed with my lab. Instead of sharing my bed I often sleep with my lab on the floor – next to her own place. I do not do this often, but I do it regularly. Sleeping on a hard surface is also good for my back 🙂
ok well i hope you to get along well.
My black lab hops on my bed ONLY when invited AND her special blanket is placed on top of my bed. She snores and throw some gas once in a while that would wake me up in the middle of the night.
She has her own bed on the floor right next to my bed where she sleeps at night when I want my bed to myself. I move her bed in her crate prior I go to work in the morning and she happily sleeps there with the crate door open.
I start letting her on my bed “invited” when she turned 8 mos old. I never let her on my bed when she was a puppy. She slept in her crate for the most part when she was still a puppy. Crate training helped a lot on our potty training.
My husband and I sleep with 2 Labradors on the bed for most of the time. a 2 year old girl and a 10 month old boy. Some nights one of them goes into my adult son’s bed with him. One dog loves under the covers and she will lie for hours cuddled up to my husband’s legs, the other thinks he likes under the covers, gets too warm and is back out, they both crawl in from the top and slide out the bottom of the duvet. This goes on several times a night but we are just used to it now. The young one knows when it’s getting up time and then he comes and curls around your head on the pillow! We must really love our labs ….. and don’t see us changing it – we have a king size bed but next time will be getting a bigger one!
My 9 year old golden Labrador starts his nightlife on his bed in the bedroom and at some point joins me by sleeping on top of the covers. In the morning I open one eye and he is always watching me. Wouldn’t have it any other way. He is my soul mate!
My 3 labs sleep on the bed with me. I would have it no other way. I did have to get a bigger bed but otherwise we all fit in very cosily!
I sleep with my lab about fifty percent of the time. Most of the time she will lay next to me until I settle and almost asleep then she will jump down and sleep on the floor next to the bed. Then some time during the night she will jump back up and will be sleeping at my feet when I wake. She doesn’t sleep restless in fact I don’t even know she is there at night. We sleep well.
Oh my lab is a year old and we have, husband and I, a king size bed for his chocolate four year old lab is at our feet every night all night. But we do all sleep well.
We let our 15 month old choclab in for morning cuddles in weekends. He knows that bed time means outside and will go out after saying ‘goodnight’ to who ever maybe in our home.
If we are going to be spending a whole day away from home we let him sleep in his bed inside with us as a great so he has some human interaction. It seems
To stop digging during the day when he is alone. He seems to adjust well to both sleeping arrangements. Loves to cuddle but also will take himself out for alone time!
My black Lab happily slept n his own bed in the kitchen for 8 years, when he got a trapped nerve in his hip which caused sever pain.
After a stay at the vet’s to sort it out he would not let me out of his sight, following me everywhere, and seeming to find my presence some comfort.
At night he just would not settle in his bed – I went down 20 times one night to tell him to go back to sleep before I realised he wasn’t being naughty, he just wanted comfort, and we’d both get some sleep if I allowed him upstairs with me.
So that is the pattern from now on: and when he get uncomfortable at night I can give him a massage until he relaxes again.
My yellow lab starts off in her old, comfy armchair next to my bed. At some time during the night she transfers from her chair to my bed and curls up, on top of the covers, against my back. Sometimes she wakes me up but not always. We have a strong bond and it feels right
The thought of spending the night with my 35kg Labrador beggars belief, but then each to his own!
Roger